Myself itself

I am usually not much influenced by people, but I am much linked or constantly connected to my Parents. It is my case that these two important people represent two important facets of visual art - Fashion and Architecture. Two very talented people. Two unusual beings - two artists. And perhaps, the union of two accurate talents is meant so to lead to a fusion of senses close to them. So I was born… made not only by love, but also for loving creation and power to inspire.

I’ve grown within a small tight medium and I’ve learned the highest values ever, possible for humans. And have kept them long inside me. But as a growing girl, I wished I could have had one thing I were to find and define late in time: My identity as a being.

Time shaped the person of the now, but before this, I must have figured out that ‘Me’ was missing and  nearly never identified, in my findings / beliefs. I used to be the mirroring of my parents’ convictions and persuasions. They’ve always been pretentious with me. Like every mom and dad. It’s not a bad thing. It’s a great one - it really is..  However, it is also an involuntary major fault. Because somehow, sometimes some parents don't realize how they defy their children’s real hearts and dreams and make them fulfil what they might have not reached when young or what they had then aspired to. Sometimes, looking at descendants - daughters or sons - there is a parental tendency of a perpetuating embodiment of desires.

I lived for this. I oftentimes did what my parents wanted me to do. I’ve been the image they wanted to see, I was like the form of their own prototype of achievement: a picture comprising their needs, the hope feeding their ambitions, the potential of a palpable success; the promising materialization of their personal affirmation and the shape of their feelings, necessities, significance, positions, opinions, conclusions. More likely, the result of a cocktail of states and pleasures, beliefs, likes, dislikes, wishes, and much less, actually poor credit given to someone’s uniqueness. I’ve always been the representation of parental force over my persona.